Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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