HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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