Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
