I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
NoShamevember. You game?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize