Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
