I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
