Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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