I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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