Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize