Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just gargled with NyQuil
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
