When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
