I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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