guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
