Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
