Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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