There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
