i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I am one with the molecules
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
