I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
No subtext here. People are naked.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
