# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
