I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
