I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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