I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
