i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
barbara walters just said penis...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
