Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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