ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
