he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
