he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
