Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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