I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
