When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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