Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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