It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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