what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
