oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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