You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
