Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
