I just made out with a guy for $7.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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