he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
