Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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