Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
