I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Randomize
