She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
