We won't sleep together?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
