is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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