the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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