mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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