I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Two words: blizzard sex
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
