Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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