I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
