just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
