The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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