she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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