she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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