I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
