I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
