you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
