it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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