DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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