THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
