I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just had sex bonerless
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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