Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
